I am the Athena Cyclocross Champion of the Universe.

(photos: Amy) Oh, my stars. I don't remember much about what happened last night, but I do remember that I raced on this stupid frozen rutted course and lots of people watched. A few people said "are you from Illinois?" I didn't get that. Some people said "That's Ben Popper's wife." They were slightly smarter than the Illinois people.

Collecting the stuff for the race was a comedy of errors. I was really not very sober and Ry was helping me collect stuff, and I'm surprised I remembered a bike. I ended up riding with no battery pack for my helmet light, but whatever. The bar light worked.

I honestly thought I was going to fall on my head and die or puke. I did neither. I wiped out three times on the pre-ride though, once so hard that Ben wanted to 'inspect' the helmet I was borrowing. Another woman, Mary, rode behind me for half a lap but wasn't as bold on that malicious downhill as I was - probably because she was more sober. I did beat Santa though, and a handful of other people. Icy stairs, mad rutted icy off-camber downhill, it was all just really stupid. But fun. Stupid fun.

Thanks to Ry and Rock Lobster for hooking up the loaner bike! Super light, tubulars... compared to what I'm used to "racing" on it was like a dream.

I forgot my race number on the table at the bar. Here's what it looked like:

Today, my head hurts.