Well, I feel like I wasted 18 weeks of my life. That was a complete failure. Flying Pig Marathon '09, and this pig just didn't fly.
Start Saturday night though, when Judi suggested an awesome restaurant where we all had dinner. It was delicious. I love Judi because I feel like she's super grounded and we see eye-to-eye on so much. Then we went back to the complete mess of an expo (strategically set up so you have to walk past EVERY vendor) and made fun of the live models.
After a crappy night of not-much-sleep on a back-hurtingly-soft bed, it was up and out. I chose a t-shirt instead of sleveless, which I'd later find was a bad choice. Got to the start 2 minutes before gun and had to jump a barrier to join the field. And we're off.
Mile one, cough up a lung. For three miles, I was at or below pace. Then mile 3 I started getting overheated- probably my cold. Said hi to Ben at the bridge at mile 3 or so and already I had nothing but bad things to say. The 4:45 pace group passed me, saw Ben again, and again, I was all bad news. By mile 5 I was seeing stars and ended up puking by the side of the road. Surprised I didn't pass out. Then came the hills, and they were HILLS. Like, out of the saddle in the little ring hills. My little pit stop had me off pace, so I walked the hills, saving.
The overheating continued and screwed with my hydration. I had visions of cold showers, clear water swimming pools, drinking gallons. I knew if I drank as much as I wanted, I'd get sloshy and be done for. I really felt crappy. The decided that I'd try to keep the 5:00 pace group behind me to the half, and then do whatever after that. I accomplished this small feat.
After that, it was crawling to the finish line. Like, 12:00 miles or slower, walking through water stations to make the times even worse. I just felt fantastically terrible. I kept shuffling along and just sang to myself. I met a local girl at mile 17 and we chatted and kept eachother going till mile 25. Then her husband ran with her and I pressed on.
5:15. At least 30 minutes slower than I hoped. I cried. And cried and cried. I don't know what to think. Marathons aren't like races we usually do because you have one shot. You train 18 weeks for one day. And my one day was for shit. Why waste all spring trying only to get WORSE? I was supposed to meet Judi afterward, but we just left. I feel like a crappy friend for it, but I just couldn't handle anything.
So, that's my 4th race this year. 2 running, 2 riding. And all off-the-back, slower-than-pace, stupid excuses. I'm a real failure as a halflete. But at least I can show up with a smile, enjoy a beer, support other folks that don't suck, and be an athletic supporter.
Ridden and Reviewed Kona Libre CR
8 months ago
19 replies:
Don't be too hard on yourself. It is horrible luck that you got sick the week before. We all have crappy races. Hell, I just had one today myself. At least, I'm learning -- I think. There's still a long season ahead of us with at least some races that we'll be all smiles at end. = )
26.2 miles of running is never failure
I don't know why you're beating yourself up so bad.
You did awesome.
1. You finished.
2. You finished, hobbled by sickness and on a tough, hilly course.
You came into a tough situation without a full deck of cards and you did awesome.
And now you can think about how you're going to go back to Cincinnati and kill that race next year, aye?
"be an athletic supporter" :) And have a sense of humor too!
You are amazing, period. No matter what the time, you accomplished something today that 99.9% of the earth's population wouldn't be capable of. You didn't have ideal conditions but fought through it anyway. Your drive is nothing of a halflete's! Those 18 weeks weren't a waste! There's more fun-runs to come.
You are fucking hardcore - I would have wussed out after the puking. Be proud - the training obviously wasn't wasted if it allowed you to pull through it all and finish despite all the hurdles. I'm in awe!
Julie -
You ran REALLY far - I believe the first marathoner DIED after running that distance - and ran it sick.
I agree with the other posters - you're crazy successful (and insanely determined)!
Very proud you made it through :)
Hol
dude... you were sick, and you still ran a marathon.
definitely not a failure...
That you ran a marathon (not to mention a SECOND marathon) at all is something to be proud of. That you did so while sick is probably poor judgement ;-) but also totally impressive. Not to mention how great your ass looks in that picture.
You ran a marathon under conditions that would have made most just toss in the towel. No one can take that away from you.
I'm proud to call you my teammate.
OMG! I can't believe you are being so hard on yourself and considering yourself a failure!
I'm not accepting that.
I would love to be able to have the focus you do/did to run these marathons!
As far as I'm concerned I have more respect for you as you didn't escape the womb predisposed for athletic "greatness", like a lot of people we know (and love).
Julie,
You did awesome! Marathons are brutal you never know what the race is going to dish out that given day. Last years marathon I was hoping to break a PR I blew up at 20 with leg cramps and almost shit my pants!! Hobbling sick to the finish is no fun but you finished! Every marathon you learn something new and can take that with you the next race.
This race will only make you a stronger runner, NOT a failure.
Isaiah
Julie!
It made me sad to read your post and see you being so hard on yourself! Of course you are disappointed to not have met your main goal to improve your time - but there are so many other goals that you did meet!!
You stuck with a difficult training plan through very challenging weather conditions for 18 weeks!! Even when your training partner had to bail with a broken leg! Even with other challenging things going on in your life. You altered other aspects of your life and gave things up in order to do this, showing great discipline. You raced when you were sick, and on a difficult course.
You have kept a level of fitness through the winter that will be valuable going into WEMS/endurance riding season. You might not have done that without a big race to train for all winter.
If you look at the big picture it was far from a failure! (to me, at least)
And on top of that, your body told you, by getting a different kind of sick mid-race, that it wanted to quit in the middle of the race. In spite of that your determination prevailed.
And, A) you finished. B) you finished. C) you finished. If there is a club for people who don't quit when the going gets rough, there is no question that you are now a member. Maybe it could be called the "DNF? Over My Dead Body!" Club.
And, as you can see, everyone is really proud of you!!
i like all the comments here but velogirl got it right. you are WAY to hard on yourself. i have tears now - thinking about you crying after finishing a tough hilly course like that. i wish i could have seen you after so i could kick your ass for being so hard on yourself. you ran a very tough marathon yesterday. and you ran it sick. coughing up lungs, running up hills you had no training on. please. you ARE an athlete. a far SUPERIOR athlete than most pokey lame ass runners out there. and you have HEART. you have DRIVE. and best of all you have ENDURANCE.
xxoo-
judi
p.s. i'll see ya at the cx races in the fall. tell ben thanks for coming and cheering us on. i love ya girlie.
Everyone else said it best - you f'ing rocked.
Lesser souls just quit - you saw it through regardless. That's serious gumption.
you finished. you made us all proud. now stop getting down on your self or I'll have Ben drop you off 26.2 miles from home one day.
guys, thanks for your kindness and all. but not doing something is failing to do it. i failed by about 30 min, and that's all there is to it. give me that.
yea, you and everyone else i know who ran it. i came in 18 minutes slower than my goal. heather came in 45 minutes over her goal. sandi came in 14 minutes over her goal. and this guy who trains w/ us sometimes came in 18 minutes over his goal. it's a TOUGH course. you DID IT. that's what counts. now let me have the last fucking word on this.
Julie,
I will agree with you that you had a goal to beat a certain time and you did not do it. But, I think you have to be realistic in that you were sick and it was a different course.
You've had a day to feel bad about it. Now, just focus on the next race -- be it WEMS, running, whatever. (Of course, I'll admit I can't always follow this advice.)
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