(photo: Amy) I can't shake that nagging feeling that I need to pee. I'm nervous. I let myself get talked into doing more crap that I'm not good at, and I know exactly how that always turns out. Let me outline for you:
1. I spend the entire day dreading the DFL that I know I'm going to take. This feeling is particularly bad when the sport in question involves lots of spectators, like at the track, or at a crit, or in an arena.
2. I show up to the line with this childhood-fantasy-style glimmer of hope that, hey, maybe this is what I was always good at and never knew about. Maybe I'll destroy it. (Maybe I'll be a ballerina when I grow up, whether or not I'm 20lb overweight.)
3. Make a half-assed attempt at doing decently after the start, then settle in to my DFL or nearly-DFL.
4. Begin laughing at myself to the point where a sustained effort isn't even possible any more. Basically, give up.
5. Be annoyed at myself for not being good at my first try.
Yeah.
So, if work lets me slip away close to 5pm (I did get here nearly an hour early this AM to try to make it possible) I'll race my first crit ever, there, out in the open, at Soldier Field, where everyone can laugh. Ha, ha.
Then, this weekend, I'll be racing in an ARENA, actually the Miller Lite Arena at the New Jersey State Fair, doing two CX races on my MTB, since I don't (want to) own a CX bike. The first race is with the guys, the second is with the "intermediate" women. So, yeah, more DFL.
And the promoter is trying to talk me into doing speed trials. Which is like the opposite of what I'm good at- it's handling your bike over tough obstacles (me=fail) as fast as possible (me=superfail). I think I might have to do something I rarely do and say no to that one.
Beer handups will be warmly welcomed. Please.
Ridden and Reviewed Kona Libre CR
8 months ago
7 replies:
Why do you think you're going to be laughed at? Just ride hard, hang on to a wheel and have fun. Gosh.
you're giving me too much credit of you think i can hang on to a wheel...
Everyone worries about being laughed at but think of all the times you've watched some hero struggle in at the end of a race with tears in your eyes because they tried it at all.
On the other hand if your the type who laughs at others cause they are last then I guess it's Karma.
Go and try and everyone will applaud the attempt as much as the fianl position.
Having been last so many times at so many different activities I know how it can feel sometimes. However, I always remind myself that I'm last of the people who got up off their butts and tried. Plus lots of my best event memories are from ones where I finished last as they can create some amazing stories.
I am so sorry I missed you tonight! I took off and somehow couldn't find it?!?! I went north instead... uugh. I hope everything went ok!
can we be DFL together...holding hands through the finish?!
Yes! Handholding and showboating is how you WIN!
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