little hiccups

(late posted from March 10.) It's been an eventful week. Monday at the 12w midwife appt Julie found the heartbeat in an instant. It was crazy. I have two heartbeats now. I was over the moon for the day. She said that this means it's healthy and for real- no more fears of miscarriage, this thing is going to happen.

Then this morning, the ultrasound. It was so surreal. There was this little thing jumping and floating around. It wasn't positioned right to measure it's neck or whatever, so the tech asked me to lift my pelvis and jiggle my hips, and whaddya know... the thing had turned. And then it got the hiccups and was just bouncing up and down with them. So funny. It has two arms and two legs and looks somewhat alien, but there it is. Wow.

Anyway, I'm out of the exhausted/worry phase (relatively speaking) and on to the prep phase. Trying to keep up with workouts and vitamins and all that. I think I'll finally muster up the time/wherewithal to dig through those bags my sister gave me of maternity clothes. I'm not showing, for sure, but there's definitely more butt/hips/belly there than there used to be, and last summer's clothes are TIGHT.

In the meantime, I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to grow up and be responsible for something this serious. Me? A mom? OK, so I'm a hyper-organized overachiever, but I'm also pretty darn selfish with my time and have some nasty habits. We'll see. I guess we'll make it work. It's hard to think about all the things I'll never have/do again... I think the biggest thing I'll miss is extended travel to odd places. Maybe we'll take one more crack at it in May.