It's been a while since I really worked out. It's just weekend long runs and Tuesday night ballet class for me right now. Yesterday it was warm and nice so I went for a run, and after just 5 mi I could feel it. I'm not really in shape at all. My two trips to Ray's have been just about my only times on a bike this year. I was in a hotel in Connecticut on Monday night and had some time to myself and the LAST thing I wanted to think about was a workout. I collapsed into bed at 8pm and fell asleep not long after that. (I woke up twice in the middle of the night. I am trained.)
My favorite (and only) mommy forum had a discussion up about Shape of a Mother (NSFW). I've never seen anything like it, but it does sort of reset my mind on things. Am I slower than I used to be? Hell yes. Am I shaped differently? Certainly. Can I still change that? Yup, for sure. Do I have time to? Realistically, no. And this website makes me feel 90% better about all of it because it shows me pretty conclusively that, first, it is indeed a struggle, and second, I'm actually doing pretty well comparatively. I need to stop reading freaking Kara Goucher's blog and start realizing I'm a real, working mom who wasn't skinny or fast to start with.
I guess it will help once it's warm enough out that I can run with E in the stroller. Right now I need a babysitter in order to run.
I'm starting to really dread racing. I know I'm going to suck. I wish I could just shut off my competitive side, but I can't. I don't want to race if I can't at least do decently. I'm surely racing Citizen this year. I probably should just take the year off (again).
Ridden and Reviewed Kona Libre CR
8 months ago
3 replies:
julie, you are a beautiful and talented lady. you have the drive and dedication that it takes to do whatever you set your mind to. dont let the haters in your head fuck with you this much. look at that beautiful little baby you created. stop this nonsense and just run, ride, have fun. isnt that what its about?
I agree with Judi. Just get out there. Racing is a great opportunity to get a good workout in with a bunch of great people. I remember my first race back after Casey... I cried, like CRIED. I remember crying climbing up Alpine's dead heffer climb. My legs were cramped, I could barely pedal, I had a headache and I was last or second to last. I walked most of the climbs. That whole season sucked result wise but it was worth finishing as it seemed to be the only time I could ride, and it forced a hard effort out of me. I don't remember the next season, but the following season I was better than ever. Then I had Zoe. It takes me a good couple years to get to where I feel okay about it all. Some women bounce back right away because they have the genetics and/or a better line of support. But whatever, I'm happy with what I have. I of course wish I had more time to ride, but who doesn't?
Don't dread the racing!
Both Judy's and Rachel make complete sense. You made such a beautiful little baby and you are way too awesome to not race!
go out, have some fun, it'll get you back into it atleast! Maybe don't do a committed series. Just do what you want, when you want. If you want to race today, race. If not, go play bikes somewhere else! I did that a few years ago...did not have a child ha, but just said, I want to ride and race when I want to. Not feel like I had to train or be on a schedule.
Easy lucky free!
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